Pagan Paths Series
Article By Lori DeMaria
Turning of the Wheel between Yule & Christmas: How a Witch Celebrated Christmas Eve at Church
‘Light is returning; And though this is the darkest hour, No one can hold back the dawn.’— From Mother Tongues Firedance
I breathe in. I breathe out.
Crisp, cold winter air. The kind that causes your breath to turn to frost as you exhale. Winter is upon us again as it is every year, as I sit in the warmth of my home in the wee hours of Christmas morning, lit by candles and accompanied by a snifter of cognac, the two generating external and internal warmth, enjoying the peace I find in the deep depths of night, under an amazing dark indigo sky sprinkled with bright white stars.
2011 was a year of transition for me, as it was for many people. Transition and thus change, is not necessarily a bad thing. This holiday season for me, as a witch, began with Winter Solstice, or Yule, as the Wheel of the Year turns. Mistletoe, candles, mead, and welcoming the rebirth of the Sun after the longest night of the year. Preparing to shed this year and welcome the next.
Breathing in incense of frankincense & myrrh, I find myself greatly enjoying this time Solitary, and enjoying the ability to write as I do, which I refer to as ‘emptying the vessel’: although part of me would love to be sound asleep, I must put my impressions & thoughts into words, very much like a spell needing to be cast and recorded, before the moment is gone. Amidst the hectic pace, stress and commercialism of the holiday season, I feel utter peace for the first in a very long while. This was the first year in all my life with no Yule tree, no lights, just a few boughs here and there, and real sprigs of mistletoe, a sacred evergreen. The first year in my life I didn’t worry about shopping, gift wrapping, or writing & sending holiday cards. For a fleeting moment here & there I would feel out of sorts, with a treasure trove of hand blown glass ornaments and numerous holiday decorations spanning a multitude of boxes in my attic. But I had decided this year I would focus on the Spiritual aspect of the holiday season, and what that meant to me. And I have to admit, so far this is the most delightful holiday I have ever spent. I feel a kindred connection with the Earth and a clarity this peace brings to me. And the gift I am blessed with on this night is an ability to enjoy the smallest things, and recognize Deity in each.
I drove down to my home state of New York, to one of my favorite towns along the Hudson River, the river which every time I am near it, has a way of making my blood sing. It’s a combination of being home, and some ancient, predestined pull I have always felt as long as I can remember. I am certain being a Water sign is part of it. Raised Catholic, I am still drawn to midnight service on Christmas Eve, which I loved even as a child.
There is something mystical about a building lit only by candles in the service of those who worship. Making my way to the Old Dutch Church-a 17th century stone church in Sleepy Hollow-I drove along a quiet stretch of county road off the highway, along the vast and beautiful Rockefeller Preserve. I spot a young stag, standing sentinel on the grassy side of the road, grazing under the dark sky, small antlers atop his head. Solitary, I thought, just like me, on this Winter Eve. This was the first sign, being the symbol of the Wiccan god.
With the feeling of a building and land steeped in history and lore, this marks the 376th Christmas Eve service the church has celebrated, the entire building lit by candle sconces on the walls, by the huge ornate brass chandelier hanging down from the ceiling, and by our own individual flames. Warmed only by a wood burning stove and many souls singing Christmas Carols in unison.
Tonight’s first reading was from Genesis 3…during which I had to smile, and then stifle a chuckle and begin to wonder if I truly belong, as the Pastor took us through the following verse;
….”So the LORD God said to the serpent, because you have done this,Cursed are you above all livestockand all wild animals!You will crawl on your bellyand you will eat dustall the days of your life.And I will put enmitybetween you and the woman,and between your offspring and hers;he will crush your head,and you will strike his heel.”
I found this particular reading amusing, if not uncanny, because the Snake happens to be my power animal. Here I am, a witch, sitting in an old wooden pew on Christmas Eve, with a rather nice size tattoo taking up most of my lower back, depicting a snake poised to strike in a garden. I couldn’t help but wonder what Pastor would think if he knew! In Hinduism, kundalini, or serpent fire, lies coiled at the base of the spine. As we mature emotionally and spiritually, the energy rises, stimulating emotional, mental, and spiritual energy centers (chakras). This flow of energy is essential to health, and the Greeks used the snake as a symbol of healing & wisdom (think caduceus). A snake shedding its skin symbolizes our ability to shed beliefs & habits which we have outgrown. To be able to do this is called Wisdom. The apple the snake gave Eve was from the Tree of Knowledge. Snake’s skin shedding also symbolizes death & rebirth, an idea which is represented by the image of a snake swallowing its own tail, a universal symbol of eternity. The perfect animal in my mind to signify Transition. Thus I find it so hard to believe this beautiful creature of the earth is seen as tempting and evil.
And so the night carried on into the cusp of a new day, in a unison of voices and flames. My mind wandered-as it typically likes to do-and it dawned on me throughout the evening that a church service is actually very akin to ritual. As a community, we are raising energy, turning chants into Carols, the lighting of many white (symbolizing purity & truth) candles from one Universal flame….and the hopes, dreams and camaraderie of people coming together to share a common faith-and in turn, making a little magick. And I realized that the peace, contentment & warmth settling into your soul is just as tangible whether you be Christian or Pagan, during this special time of year.
…and as the Wheel of the Year continues its turning, the dark of the night transitions into the beginning hours of the next morn, just as dark and cold. I am ready for it. I embrace it.
Welcome, Winter.
I breathe in. I breathe out.